Thursday, November 8, 2012

November 8, 2012

I cannot believe it is already November! My goodness how time flies!!! I won't even say "when you're having fun"!! Sometimes this life is not so fun, but I am so glad to be living to experience all that I have in the past and what will be in my future. But for now, I am focusing on my present!!

I have been completely down and out for the last week,....Seriously down and out!!

I don't really know why, other than just a change in my attitude (and that time.). So I awok today with the intention to lay around again, but then I was reminded of everything I have to be thankful for. A warm place to lay my head, beautiful healthy children, enough food to eat....what more could I ask for. I have been so blessed to end up where I am at right now. And in this moment in time, I have nothing that I want...more than my family to be happy, safe, and healthy.

On that note, I am so thankful to be able to be a mother; it is truly a privelege that is not afforded to many, many women.

 I know that in this endeavor to become healthy, I will have ups and downs, ins and outs...but one thing remains the same. I am greatly loved, by my Heavenly Father who has blessed me beyond belief, by my family who loves me unconditionally and be my friends who have partnered with me with their prayers and encouragement, daily. I cannot say how wonderfully blessed I am!

It does not matter who, or what, influences my "feeling", for I cannot live by my "feeling". I will stand firm in knowing that I am the only person who I can change, and it is with this challenge that I will succeed!!

I hope everyone has a fantastic day, today!!  Peace Peeps!!!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

November 1, 2012

Does anyone ever get that feeling that you just want to give up, surrender and completely abandon all your hard work?

Well, I am at that point! I am just not feeling it for the past few days. I went to "cleansing" and decided to not keep going yesterday and let me tell you the cravings I have had! I am just really down and out today, I guess. I just want a bit of peace of mind, that I am not the only one who has had to battle with this.....

I sometimes feel that I just need a vacation like somewhere serene and peaceful.....but that might just get me in the mood to eat!  LOL

Somewhere like here........

O well, I guess it's just gonna be one of those days!  I hope everyone has a great day today!

Peace Peeps!!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Oct 30, 2012

Ok Girls, and guys if you follow.....I am officially going on the master cleanse detox!!

There is no more fooling around with the idea...I am officially mastering my body, mind and soul. I have actually put a lot of research into this and found a great recipe

                                                                             1 quart lukewarm water                           
2 Tbsp sea salt                                     

I put mine into a1 liter bottle, and chugged it...yes, about 2 mins ago actually. Then you are supposed to wait until Mother Nature takes affect...Um, we all know what that means, right? Ok there is supposed to be 30-60 mins before it works, so I am going to update my Blog...O yeah!

Ok there is also a Lemon drink(thanks, Matt,) that will work with this detox. Yes, I looked it up.

     2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
     2  Tbsp organic Maple syrup
     1/8 tsp of cayenne pepper
     8 oz filtered water

Ok, you are supposed to drink 8-12 glasses a day for as long as you do your detox(10-12 days). I am going to attempt this. Really, I am. Ha Ha!!

So first, before I began, I did some meditating on what I want from this....relaxation, healing, years of defiling my body and soul(foodly speaking) to be expelled. I spent 10 minutes just relaxing, breathing and getting used to my rythem of breath. I believe I was so relaxed I could have gone back to bed!


I am willing to step out of my comfort zone, completely, in order to start this journey. This horrible feeling that this journey may take me on a long, harsh, winding road to healing, both inwardly, and hopefully outwardly as well. I have heard that detoxing can do magnificent things to your skin and complexion....Bring it on!!!

There is a stairway that all must climb, please, Lord, open my eyes so that I am not blind.I do not need much nor do I ask, for my spirit being is arising fast!!!

 I know that this journey is hard. I realized that early on...the more I implement change the more my body rejects change!! I sometimes just want to stop and eat everything that I have in the house. Please don't think you are alone in this, you know who you are....This is nothing more than our physical bodies intolerance to change after years of doing nothing but killing itself by our unhealthy choices. but remember this:

Monday, October 29, 2012

October 29, 2012

Good morning Starshine! The  Earth says "Hello"!!!

I love the movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". It is one of my favorites. I love the story that surrounds the fantasmical adventure that the children have as they walk through the gigantic factory in awe at each and every candy and sweet they could ever dream of, knowing that only one of them will, in the end, be the winner of Willie Wonka's prize. How much they lust for the sweetness, licking their lips at the sight of the great churning chocolate river and the luscious taffy pullers.In the end, the winner finds out that all that Willie ever wanted truly, was a friend. Someone that would like him for him and not judge him for his choices, however extreme and outlandish they were.

 I always wondered what it would be like to actually see a factory like that, only in my fantasy it would be a salty-treat factory like pretzels or potato chips.

I often wondered about seeing what the process of these treats being made was like. If I could get use to the overwhelming smell of grease and salt mixed with doughy heaviness perforating the atmosphere. Would I really enjoy it that much? If I knew as a child what I know now, then of course not!!

Ok enough about my fantasies of greasy horribly yummy treats..........I might have to go get some....NOT!!!

So I got up this morning, with all the intent to watch the, really, I did, stop laughing....

Ok so I know where I didnt go....back to bed!! I completed a workout at home, cleaned up a bit, now I am working around the house(and kitchen). it's times like these that may be lethal for me to stay at home....

Well, I guess if I keep myself busy and not shove samples in my mouth, I might just be ok.....What do you think?

Might be hard.....but remember.........

I have a habit of being hard on myself....yes, sometimes, too hard....but I think with the right kind of support and healthy choices, that I am making a lifestyle change and not just dieting. I keep telling myself that I did not put on these pounds all overnight, so I must look at my changes and weightloss the same way.

Now that I have vented....well at least someone reading knows what I mean....I am now needing to take another break!!!!

Hope everyone has a fantastic day, Keep up the good work!!!!

Peace peeps!!!!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Another New thing......

      So I am excited for the first time, EVER!! I just got in from visiting the Rush Fitness comples here in Knoxville. I must say that I am not one for showing my body while exercising. In fact, I have been one to shy away from gyms, because of my body. This is something that I have built over years and years of poor dieting and self-loathing, I should be proud.....Rome wasn't built in a day; well, neither will my new body be reconstructed overnight. It will be built piece by piece, kind of like.....well the masterpiece below! :)
Boy I bet these guys didn't struggle with losing weight while building these beauties!!!

       Let me just start by saying that Matt, the manager there, showed me nothing but the utmost respect! He was very intuitive and sensed my nervousness, while talking the whole time while I was on the tour/exercising. I have to say that I am so excited about the programs and equipment there that I was sold pretty much from the time I walked in. But it was Matt and the other trainers that I met who really made my day!

      I would love to say that I can commit, right off the start, to a trainer, but that is something I can't decide without some more thought. I will say that I am stoked at the low price and options for membership that they had!

     While working out, I saw many other people who looked better than me, and that usually is where my low-self esteem would have kicked in and led me never to go back. But, shocker.....I didn't feel like I was worse off than anyone else! I was so very honest with them about my goals, my blogging and my personal interests in exercising, and feel that led me into the stage of "I can so do this!!!"

     Ok, for anyone who knows me, they know that I am a quitter!  There I said it, I have been all my life! I will start things, then get tired, bored or just fed up and quit! I mean, I would love to look like this:
 But let's face it; That is NOT me!!!

(Emma wants to be a princess for Halloween) My little helper just gave me some valuable info to type in there for you guys!  LOL

     Ok back to it! I realized by starting this blog that I am holding myself accountable to this routine. I have made little changes day to day that have been easily adaptable and am making it ok up til now. I think by joining this gym that I will have someone to see on a day-to-day basis that will hold me more accountable than I hold myself. Let's face it, even the most dedicated person can slip sometimes, right?  Well this is going to be something that I see myself getting pumped about daily! Somewhere I can go where people will see my changes up close and personal(OH_NO) and I will feel that support system that I so badly need!

      Well I guess that I can get off of here and start dinner, Grilled chicken breast and baked potato with a great spinach salad..........

Keep it going.....Peace Peeps!!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

October 24, 2012

Let me just start by saying this......GO ME,GO ME!!!!
Today is Wednesday! It has officially been 30 days since I first started this journey and I have lost a total of 15lbs!!!! Now, that is something that no matter how I feel, I can smile about!
And I do feel rough today! That's ok tho, I usually do after Lillie's birthday, but I found this picture today and I love it:
Doesn't that just say it all!!


For those who want to see what juicing and 30 days of excercise has done for this one, stuck in a rut person then keep on:

this was sometime this summer

I believe this was day 5
Again; day 5

Around day 10

Day 15!!
DAY 30!!!!

I will be starting to take some pictures of my legs and things but they are still shaping up :) 

Well that is all for today folks! I believe I will get on out for my daily walk, it has become so very wonderful for me! Let's finish this juice today.

And I do need to just insert something here. Ya know that detox juice I talked about that is so yummy? Well turns out, it really, truly works!! Who can beat good for you and delicious?

Ok, Ok!  I am out.....

Peace Peeps!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

October 23, 2012

This would normally be a day when I lose myself completely in the grief of knowing that my middle child turns 12 today.

Happy Birthday Lillie!!!

 The grief is that I have not seen her in 8 years, almost to the day. I have, in years past, drown myself in sorrow, self-pity and tons of food, giving myself the day-pass on the acceptance that I deserve it, because I did it myself.

I do get the chance to see pictures through the "grapevine" every once in a while. This one is one of her this past summer with some family of her father's. Isn't she just beautiful!!!??

I can remember the last time that I had a chance to see her and refuse to go because of my fear of how much "damage" I could do to her father. Boy, Hindsight really is 20/20!!! 

I guess I have apologized to my mother about enough times to start writing Hallmark cards for a living!!  LOL

But seriously, the things that we do to ourselves in the name of self-loathing is really pitiful!

Well, this year, I am not doing that! I refuse to buckle under the weight of the enemy, sometimes my mind is the enemy. Anyone identify with that feeling? Or am I the only person EVER to have struggled with this?

I found this on a great FB page called Contentment Now! Is it not just the coolest picture...sure wish my body could do that!!!!

Well to counter act any depression, I could give into, I am aiming to do nothing but put good healthy things into my body!!!


Let me show you what is for breakfast before I start out on my 4 mile trek this morning:



I concocted my very own version of the detox juice with :
Add caption

2Honeycrisp(organic, locally grown) apples
2 big handfuls of baby spinach, organic
juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves of garlic
2 pinches of dried ground ginger( I didn't have fresh)

This is what it looked like before the juicer}}}}}}}}}}}

And this was after!!!!!!!1

Isn't that just pretty!!

This is so delicious, I am going to have some more for lunch!!!!
Now I am finishing it off with sips from this beautiful mug!

Fresh White Tea with honey and lemon(and a pinch of ginger)
Makes a body feel stronger already!

Ok everyone, it is workout time! I think I will head to the market today to replenish my stock of fresh fruits and awesome veggies!!!
That's my four mile walk(round trip)!!!

Everyone have a most awesome day!!!!

Peace Peeps!!!!!

Monday, October 22, 2012



As I sit here, the sky is waning into golden hues of sunlight,
 melting into crisp oranges. I am reflecting on this journey and where it has led me so far. I have been able to keep a time log and pursue the goal of continuity among other things.

I am also reflecting on this last weekend with my friends and family. I have not been able to shake the overwhelming urge to cry.
 Not that I am unstable or depressed, but that I am overwhelmingly joyous over certain milestones that I have reached so far!

 I have noticed, however, that as I have eaten more meat, my mood has changed from great to absolutely awful!, I believe that there may be a direct correlation between these factors. I have not taken off of my workouts, though. To them I have been faithful, walking almost 4 miles a day!!!
Starting tomorrow I will go ahead and implement another mile, just to see if that will speed up any weight loss. Up to this point I am holding at about 190!!!

I am getting used to the routine of staying up all day with little sleep, only to wonder if maybe that also plays into my mood!!

  O well, I am proud of myself, though. I have never committed to a regular routine and held myself to it until now! I give all the effort I can, and take a day off here and there, but for the most part, I have followed without much fluctuation.
I will be looking forward to saying I have his the 20lb mark of loss!!! I am only 5lbs away, actually!!!

To that, I cheer up!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

No More, No More!

 !!!!!!NEWS FLASH!!!!!!

When does one become aware of their body changing? I awoke today with a goal in mind: To go RIGHT BACK to bed!

Did this happen? OF COURSE NOT!

Well as I hopped into my workout this morning....I realized....that my jeans are falling off of my rear. If you know me, you know that I am rather flat in that area, so it wouldn't be too hard to However, I am actually feeling my waist line and other areas of my body changing. It's almost like they are melting away, and in some areas they REALLY DON'T NEED TO!!!


I am declaring WAR! War on my cravings and other insane wants. If I am absolutely honest with myself, (and if you are too)  I would tell myself that I dont need that "kind" of food. I am only wanting to open the Huumus and CHIPS because I am absolutely BORED to death.....and that is after the house has been cleaned, laundry finished and dishes washed. After I have finished my school work, and organized the little one's room, for the 2nd time this week!

No More! No More!! BOREDOM.....I mean, I am a mom, that is what we do, right?  I can sit and listen to music all day, I don't even watch movies or anything. (Because, of course, that would lead to a bag of popcorn!)

So with that thought out there, I found a great multivitamin for enhancement/tissue health that I believe that I will be trying. If you know what I mean! I will be letting you know when I start that as well as my changes, IF ANY.  I yell that last part due to my extreme doubt that it actually changes anything......but we shall see.

Ok on another note. I have been adding more fresh spinach into my diet this week, and have cut back drastically on the slow carbs, or those carbs that burn off at a ridiculously slow rate, like pastas, white grains and sugars. I am adding more of those fruits and veggies and less of the inane goodies(insert chocolate cake here)  :)

I hope everyone Has a fabulously health-conscious day!! Keep up the good work!!

Peace Peeps!!!!!!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Not Giving IN......

Ok, so I have been neglecting to blogg too often, here lately. I am not sure what's been worse, my desire to sleep or the desire to eat an entire chocolate cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner!!! There's nothing worse than the temptation of eating chocolate cake, unless of course, that is, if one fulfills that wish buy buying not just one, but two in one week!!!

Yes, my friends, I am the thinker and the doer of chocolate cakes this week. Emma's birthday was on the 8th, and of course, I just got a very small one. not too bad. However it was the 1/4 sheet cake I ordered for her birthday party on Saturday that put me over the top!

We had decided to do a party at our local bowling alley, and when no one showed up, I felt the perpetual guilt of having this huge cake all to ourselves!!!  He he!!

Now, in my defense, I do have to say right here that I had kept up with working out until, of course, Saturday. Not so bad, right? But of course the cake just did it in for me. I have to let you know, it was addictive! Very, Very, Very addictive! And I felt so sluggish afterwards......And the mess is still in my FRIDGE!!!!

I won't say I haven't thought about getting a piece. But I refuse to.....

Workout today was 30 mins this morning, and then a 45 min walk home from taking Emma to swim lessons!

I guess I will be ok......I just said this to say....I am not giving in....I didn't even gain a pound!   NICE!   I didn't lose, but I didn't GAIN!!

Ok That's it, for now......keep your heads up.....we can do this, right?!?

Peace Peeps.......

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Those Monthly Blues!!!

Ok we all get them, right? I am even convinced men do too, and just fail to admit it. So I wake up this morning and, I am not in the mood to exercise, I am not talking about just tired, but so entwined with my feelings of woe that I set down and eat the last part of Emma's birthday cake, yummy chocolate with whipped buttercream icing. Someone tell me why in the world I press through eating the hardness of it(since it was uncovered in the fridge for 2 days) COME ON ALREADY!

I guess it's like a rollercoaster, better yet a tidal wave. The emotions of working so hard to stay healthy and feeling like around every corner of change there is another crest that's about to come crashing down on top of me plunging me into an icy depth. (that icy depth, btw, would be that buttercream icing and the occasional ice cream bar) :() Well I believe my venture looks like this poor surfer, who is crouched so low with the curve of this wave, never to be able to make it through to the other side and stand back up. My  body has become a machine that acts fully against my wishes. No matter how much I will it to get up and move, it just wants to act like I am super glued to the chair, or any other surface my derrier may be touching at that point!

Why not just stop there? I am doomed, I do not feel like exercise today. I feel like going straight back to bed, pulling the covers over my foggy head and staying there until sleep once again finds me. But what do I do.....I chuck the icing smudged bowl into the sink, just one more thing to do later, And find myself speaking strength into my own ears, WHO DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN!!!! Ok so I only did a 30 minute workout this morning, SO WHAT!? Ok, Ok I know I am not being very helpful here but, good gracious, I mean it's that time of the month.
Ok so I plunged through the workout, ate some carrots and a banana for lunch and am heading for an interview soon. Just another day of blogging. I hope someone out there knows the way I feel today. And if you don't then, O well. It's a woman's prerogative!!! Right?............>            Right!

Maybe it will be better tomorrow....Carry on...............Peace peeps!!!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Day 15!

I am halfway through the month! I cannot say I am feeling very well today, as I believe i have a sinus problem. however, I am still eating right and doing my workout. I have reverted back to doin my XFIT since it has turned colder outside and am still walking 2-3 times a week with Emma. So I think it is still doing something.....I am down to 191.7. I am almost down to a size 14 again!! I have a pair of black dress pants that I put on for the first time ever and was able to get them all the way on and wear them to work on Friday!
I know this is hard work, but I have come to the conclusion that if I can control my mind then my body will follow. I have lots of school work to keep my hands busy and when I am hungry(and only near famishing) then I will eat a piece of fruit or celery/carrots. This WILL pay off! I am determined to not stop until I am in control of what I eat and think of myself! I know that I can do it, the only person who will stop me is me!

Carry on....Peace Peeps!!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Not Again!!?!!

DAY 10

Well getting into a routine with my workout has been good. I have managed to get up and get everyone out the door, and devote 40-45 mins to XFit and dancing. But yesterday proved to be an eye-opening event for me. Walking to school, was a "cool" thing and it was great! (I even found a fabulous house for sale right around the corner from her school.) It was this morning that was the turn around.
Emma, yet again, would not get up out of the bed. When she finally did, she was slower than molasses and just did not want to cooperate with me. Well, needless to say, she missed her bus.  OH!! Let's just say, I was not very happy with the prospect of yet another long walk this morning. (especially after walking another 2 miles last night to get to church!)
Anyways, as we walked along we found ourselves singing kid's songs(like three blind mice and farmer in the dale) and playing I-spy. My irritation eased into enjoyment as I realized one very special little thing: I was enjoying myself, really enjoying my time with Emma.
You see, I have started this new job, where I work very long hours. So the only time I have been seeing her is all day on Sundays, in the morning rushing her to the bus and in the evenings as she is going to bed. I had been thinking of how in the world I am going to be helping her when I am at work all the time. But My eye-opening thought this morning: Not only am I getting my excercise.....teaching my daughter good habits...but I am able to spend some quality time with her....That is worth it all. So what if I dont lose much weight....I am spending that time building memories with her that will be priceless in the years to come.

That being said......Welcome to my new workout!!!! :)

Make it a great day!   PEACE PEEPS!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012



I have to admit it; I did NOT wanna get up and walk....working out at home is one thing but getting out there and having to walk back is quite another....We started out the only ones on our street then got about a mile down and a grandmother and grandson joined us, then around another there was a mother and her children walking to a bus stop, she was in her robe! Well she ran home and changed and they joined us too, by the time we got to the school there were about 15 in our entourage, needless to say, I was very thankful and Emma was beaming! We then learned when we arrived at the school, we had prizes of fruit and waters and the kids got notepads and crayons as prizes and got to enter raffle tickets for door prizes throughout the day! I am filled with much love this morning for my little dove who pushed me out the door this morning lol! 

So the scale says 193.4 this morning! I am happy with that. I feel a little bloated, but it's about that time. :( I have been working long hours and thought I might succomb to the munchies at work, but so far I have been good! I take nothing but just my lunch, a bowl of soup, then fresh fruits for my snacks, then water bottles to drink! I think I may be able to do this just a little longer....maybe....we will have to see. lol 

I really want to live this way, and it is hard. I have been having these cravings for junk food like crazy! I mean, not just chips, but dip and chocolate too!!! NOT COOL!!

O well I will do this! I have to do this, for me, for my family, for my future!!!

Peace peeps!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

DAY 6 :)


It is Sunday morning and I am beat. I did not post yesterday, however, I did not skip my workout!!! GO ME! Not only did I work out, I got to be very active all day at work, so needless to say but the time I got home I was beat!!
 But, I got on the scale this morning and it says....195.1!! I am so thankful. Ok I am off to excercise and do some juicing!!!! You guys have a great wakeup!!!

Peace peeps,


Friday, September 28, 2012


Ok! I just have to add this right now!! I only had just a little bit of what was needed from It's Ron's liver, kidney, gallbladder detox juice and ooooh! it is soooo yummy. Instead of stevia drops(which I didnt have) I used 1/2 tsp of honey....and man I could drink this all day!!! EVERYDAY!!
May not be a bad idea!!!