Thursday, November 8, 2012

November 8, 2012

I cannot believe it is already November! My goodness how time flies!!! I won't even say "when you're having fun"!! Sometimes this life is not so fun, but I am so glad to be living to experience all that I have in the past and what will be in my future. But for now, I am focusing on my present!!

I have been completely down and out for the last week,....Seriously down and out!!

I don't really know why, other than just a change in my attitude (and that time.). So I awok today with the intention to lay around again, but then I was reminded of everything I have to be thankful for. A warm place to lay my head, beautiful healthy children, enough food to eat....what more could I ask for. I have been so blessed to end up where I am at right now. And in this moment in time, I have nothing that I want...more than my family to be happy, safe, and healthy.

On that note, I am so thankful to be able to be a mother; it is truly a privelege that is not afforded to many, many women.

 I know that in this endeavor to become healthy, I will have ups and downs, ins and outs...but one thing remains the same. I am greatly loved, by my Heavenly Father who has blessed me beyond belief, by my family who loves me unconditionally and be my friends who have partnered with me with their prayers and encouragement, daily. I cannot say how wonderfully blessed I am!

It does not matter who, or what, influences my "feeling", for I cannot live by my "feeling". I will stand firm in knowing that I am the only person who I can change, and it is with this challenge that I will succeed!!

I hope everyone has a fantastic day, today!!  Peace Peeps!!!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

November 1, 2012

Does anyone ever get that feeling that you just want to give up, surrender and completely abandon all your hard work?

Well, I am at that point! I am just not feeling it for the past few days. I went to "cleansing" and decided to not keep going yesterday and let me tell you the cravings I have had! I am just really down and out today, I guess. I just want a bit of peace of mind, that I am not the only one who has had to battle with this.....

I sometimes feel that I just need a vacation like somewhere serene and peaceful.....but that might just get me in the mood to eat!  LOL

Somewhere like here........

O well, I guess it's just gonna be one of those days!  I hope everyone has a great day today!

Peace Peeps!!!!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Oct 30, 2012

Ok Girls, and guys if you follow.....I am officially going on the master cleanse detox!!

There is no more fooling around with the idea...I am officially mastering my body, mind and soul. I have actually put a lot of research into this and found a great recipe

                                                                             1 quart lukewarm water                           
2 Tbsp sea salt                                     

I put mine into a1 liter bottle, and chugged it...yes, about 2 mins ago actually. Then you are supposed to wait until Mother Nature takes affect...Um, we all know what that means, right? Ok there is supposed to be 30-60 mins before it works, so I am going to update my Blog...O yeah!

Ok there is also a Lemon drink(thanks, Matt,) that will work with this detox. Yes, I looked it up.

     2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
     2  Tbsp organic Maple syrup
     1/8 tsp of cayenne pepper
     8 oz filtered water

Ok, you are supposed to drink 8-12 glasses a day for as long as you do your detox(10-12 days). I am going to attempt this. Really, I am. Ha Ha!!

So first, before I began, I did some meditating on what I want from this....relaxation, healing, years of defiling my body and soul(foodly speaking) to be expelled. I spent 10 minutes just relaxing, breathing and getting used to my rythem of breath. I believe I was so relaxed I could have gone back to bed!


I am willing to step out of my comfort zone, completely, in order to start this journey. This horrible feeling that this journey may take me on a long, harsh, winding road to healing, both inwardly, and hopefully outwardly as well. I have heard that detoxing can do magnificent things to your skin and complexion....Bring it on!!!

There is a stairway that all must climb, please, Lord, open my eyes so that I am not blind.I do not need much nor do I ask, for my spirit being is arising fast!!!

 I know that this journey is hard. I realized that early on...the more I implement change the more my body rejects change!! I sometimes just want to stop and eat everything that I have in the house. Please don't think you are alone in this, you know who you are....This is nothing more than our physical bodies intolerance to change after years of doing nothing but killing itself by our unhealthy choices. but remember this:

Monday, October 29, 2012

October 29, 2012

Good morning Starshine! The  Earth says "Hello"!!!

I love the movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". It is one of my favorites. I love the story that surrounds the fantasmical adventure that the children have as they walk through the gigantic factory in awe at each and every candy and sweet they could ever dream of, knowing that only one of them will, in the end, be the winner of Willie Wonka's prize. How much they lust for the sweetness, licking their lips at the sight of the great churning chocolate river and the luscious taffy pullers.In the end, the winner finds out that all that Willie ever wanted truly, was a friend. Someone that would like him for him and not judge him for his choices, however extreme and outlandish they were.

 I always wondered what it would be like to actually see a factory like that, only in my fantasy it would be a salty-treat factory like pretzels or potato chips.

I often wondered about seeing what the process of these treats being made was like. If I could get use to the overwhelming smell of grease and salt mixed with doughy heaviness perforating the atmosphere. Would I really enjoy it that much? If I knew as a child what I know now, then of course not!!

Ok enough about my fantasies of greasy horribly yummy treats..........I might have to go get some....NOT!!!

So I got up this morning, with all the intent to watch the, really, I did, stop laughing....

Ok so I know where I didnt go....back to bed!! I completed a workout at home, cleaned up a bit, now I am working around the house(and kitchen). it's times like these that may be lethal for me to stay at home....

Well, I guess if I keep myself busy and not shove samples in my mouth, I might just be ok.....What do you think?

Might be hard.....but remember.........

I have a habit of being hard on myself....yes, sometimes, too hard....but I think with the right kind of support and healthy choices, that I am making a lifestyle change and not just dieting. I keep telling myself that I did not put on these pounds all overnight, so I must look at my changes and weightloss the same way.

Now that I have vented....well at least someone reading knows what I mean....I am now needing to take another break!!!!

Hope everyone has a fantastic day, Keep up the good work!!!!

Peace peeps!!!!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Another New thing......

      So I am excited for the first time, EVER!! I just got in from visiting the Rush Fitness comples here in Knoxville. I must say that I am not one for showing my body while exercising. In fact, I have been one to shy away from gyms, because of my body. This is something that I have built over years and years of poor dieting and self-loathing, I should be proud.....Rome wasn't built in a day; well, neither will my new body be reconstructed overnight. It will be built piece by piece, kind of like.....well the masterpiece below! :)
Boy I bet these guys didn't struggle with losing weight while building these beauties!!!

       Let me just start by saying that Matt, the manager there, showed me nothing but the utmost respect! He was very intuitive and sensed my nervousness, while talking the whole time while I was on the tour/exercising. I have to say that I am so excited about the programs and equipment there that I was sold pretty much from the time I walked in. But it was Matt and the other trainers that I met who really made my day!

      I would love to say that I can commit, right off the start, to a trainer, but that is something I can't decide without some more thought. I will say that I am stoked at the low price and options for membership that they had!

     While working out, I saw many other people who looked better than me, and that usually is where my low-self esteem would have kicked in and led me never to go back. But, shocker.....I didn't feel like I was worse off than anyone else! I was so very honest with them about my goals, my blogging and my personal interests in exercising, and feel that led me into the stage of "I can so do this!!!"

     Ok, for anyone who knows me, they know that I am a quitter!  There I said it, I have been all my life! I will start things, then get tired, bored or just fed up and quit! I mean, I would love to look like this:
 But let's face it; That is NOT me!!!

(Emma wants to be a princess for Halloween) My little helper just gave me some valuable info to type in there for you guys!  LOL

     Ok back to it! I realized by starting this blog that I am holding myself accountable to this routine. I have made little changes day to day that have been easily adaptable and am making it ok up til now. I think by joining this gym that I will have someone to see on a day-to-day basis that will hold me more accountable than I hold myself. Let's face it, even the most dedicated person can slip sometimes, right?  Well this is going to be something that I see myself getting pumped about daily! Somewhere I can go where people will see my changes up close and personal(OH_NO) and I will feel that support system that I so badly need!

      Well I guess that I can get off of here and start dinner, Grilled chicken breast and baked potato with a great spinach salad..........

Keep it going.....Peace Peeps!!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

October 24, 2012

Let me just start by saying this......GO ME,GO ME!!!!
Today is Wednesday! It has officially been 30 days since I first started this journey and I have lost a total of 15lbs!!!! Now, that is something that no matter how I feel, I can smile about!
And I do feel rough today! That's ok tho, I usually do after Lillie's birthday, but I found this picture today and I love it:
Doesn't that just say it all!!


For those who want to see what juicing and 30 days of excercise has done for this one, stuck in a rut person then keep on:

this was sometime this summer

I believe this was day 5
Again; day 5

Around day 10

Day 15!!
DAY 30!!!!

I will be starting to take some pictures of my legs and things but they are still shaping up :) 

Well that is all for today folks! I believe I will get on out for my daily walk, it has become so very wonderful for me! Let's finish this juice today.

And I do need to just insert something here. Ya know that detox juice I talked about that is so yummy? Well turns out, it really, truly works!! Who can beat good for you and delicious?

Ok, Ok!  I am out.....

Peace Peeps!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

October 23, 2012

This would normally be a day when I lose myself completely in the grief of knowing that my middle child turns 12 today.

Happy Birthday Lillie!!!

 The grief is that I have not seen her in 8 years, almost to the day. I have, in years past, drown myself in sorrow, self-pity and tons of food, giving myself the day-pass on the acceptance that I deserve it, because I did it myself.

I do get the chance to see pictures through the "grapevine" every once in a while. This one is one of her this past summer with some family of her father's. Isn't she just beautiful!!!??

I can remember the last time that I had a chance to see her and refuse to go because of my fear of how much "damage" I could do to her father. Boy, Hindsight really is 20/20!!! 

I guess I have apologized to my mother about enough times to start writing Hallmark cards for a living!!  LOL

But seriously, the things that we do to ourselves in the name of self-loathing is really pitiful!

Well, this year, I am not doing that! I refuse to buckle under the weight of the enemy, sometimes my mind is the enemy. Anyone identify with that feeling? Or am I the only person EVER to have struggled with this?

I found this on a great FB page called Contentment Now! Is it not just the coolest picture...sure wish my body could do that!!!!

Well to counter act any depression, I could give into, I am aiming to do nothing but put good healthy things into my body!!!


Let me show you what is for breakfast before I start out on my 4 mile trek this morning:



I concocted my very own version of the detox juice with :
Add caption

2Honeycrisp(organic, locally grown) apples
2 big handfuls of baby spinach, organic
juice of 1 lemon
2 cloves of garlic
2 pinches of dried ground ginger( I didn't have fresh)

This is what it looked like before the juicer}}}}}}}}}}}

And this was after!!!!!!!1

Isn't that just pretty!!

This is so delicious, I am going to have some more for lunch!!!!
Now I am finishing it off with sips from this beautiful mug!

Fresh White Tea with honey and lemon(and a pinch of ginger)
Makes a body feel stronger already!

Ok everyone, it is workout time! I think I will head to the market today to replenish my stock of fresh fruits and awesome veggies!!!
That's my four mile walk(round trip)!!!

Everyone have a most awesome day!!!!

Peace Peeps!!!!!